Review by Mark S. P. Turvin

Writing – Cheesy, but with a twist Metamucil. This narrative depends on our taking the heartbreaking cheerleader story to a whole, slightly revolting level. The lines are straight out of a romance novel, but the casting is tongue in withered cheek. As the start of a series, implied by the “Part 1” in the title and the question mark added to “The End,” one can only wonder where Troy’s unjaded eye will fall next.

Direction – Welte’s choices are decidedly amateurish, go for the most obvious visuals, and aren’t afraid to put a rear end into the frame for an extended period of time. It’s entertaining in a mild way, and disgusting in an equally mild way. Would you want to see it again? Probably not. Do you want to see more? Yes, in much the same way we’re inclined to turn our collective heads at the site of a horrific traffic accident.

Editing – Very rough, but it seems and feels like that’s what they were going for. If so, then good job. If not, then…

Acting – By playing this May/late December romance with the kind of earnestness and sincerity you get from an After School special, it makes it slightly intriguing and only a vaguely unsettling. Troy Aossey, Sharon Haselhuhn, and Patrick Marchelet do not seem to be actors, or even remotely playing for reality, but they all adhere to the tone set by the director, and that consistency aids in the final effect. You’ve got to love (and be grossed out by) Haelhuhn’s handling of Machelet’s putter.

Intangibles – I don’t care their age, I always knew you should never trust those pom girls. And “who is Troy” anyway. I might even hit the website to find out.

Overall – It’s not pretty, but it’s somewhat effective. More than anything else, though, it’s not pretty.